There was a time when I was desperate for someone to see me, value what I could bring to a relationship, and love me.
Today, I am free from that nonsense 😁
I had to learn how to 👇👇👇
🦋love me by seeing my worth and value for me and no one else,
🦋 embody my feminine and masculine energy so I could set boundaries for myself and still show up with love and empathy,
🦋and heal my attachment style to heal the child in me who didn’t have her say
I started on this healing journey when I was 27. Today I am 43.
It took consistent awareness and an active approach to changing patterns because I knew that to become someone who could love without conditions and not have an attachment to anything or anyone meant I would have to unlearn everything I was taught.
I knew it was possible as the great Buddha did it. It might have been easier if I was doing this under a tree in a small village or a mountaintop as he did, but I’ve learned that the universe will send you where it knows you can thrive. All you need is faith. So, for me, New York City had to be.😊
I am sharing this because I was tested on unconditional love and attachment during this last year. I am still growing but happy at where I am today.
Here are a few things I’ve learned over the years.
🦋 We cannot control what’s happening around us, but we can choose how we react and respond.
🦋 It’s an unfair responsibility to ask someone to commit to never hurting us.
🦋 Enjoy the people you have in the season now. It’s a sure thing they won’t always be there.
🦋 Labels, promises, and contracts limit us, not them. My perimeter of a promise will vary from our definition of that promise.
🦋 No one owes us anything. But the ego doesn’t like that.
🦋 If we allow our conscience to guide us, we will do right by ourselves and others.
🦋 We will learn more if we listen and try to understand those we disagree with. Listening to people who agree with us only boosts the ego.
🦋 I have learned much from children and find joy in mirroring them. They are little free humans excited and unafraid about exploring everything. Let’s not train them to become the thing we adults desperately want to heal from.
🦋 We should encourage our children to grow in what they love and be mindful that we don’t project our wants onto them.
🦋 Parents aren’t perfect, but they try their darn best. We may appreciate that if we have children of our own.
🦋 We are organisms, and biology (our survival instincts) should be considered more when judging others.
🦋 We will never know enough. We make a mistake and get hurt when we think we do.
🦋 It’s impossible to know exactly how another person feels.
🦋 It is unfair to expect one person to fulfill all our needs. Decide who can show up in ways we would like and accept that is all they can give.
🦋 Everything we think of someone else is an assumption.
🦋 When life gets uncomfortable, wait to keep an eye out for the lesson.
🦋 No one can make us do anything, and they can trigger emotions, but we have control of our thoughts and feelings.
🦋 Things can change in a minute.
🦋 Love without conditions and expectations. You’ll be happier if you’re not loved back in return.
🦋 We are all selfish sometimes. That’s okay. We are in survival mode, and so are they.
🦋 Fear is a chance to grow. Push through enough times and we will see there is nothing to be afraid of.
🦋 We will get along with everyone if respect is high on our value list.
🦋 Don’t look too far into the future because we will miss what’s happening now.
🦋 Forgive. People are good for the most part.
🦋 Speak to the child in the man. Many have not yet liberated their inner child, who still wants to be heard. We will find compassion, patience, and care when we do.
🦋 We can walk away from someone who is not in alignment with us and still be kind.
🦋 Realizing we are alone in this vast space while still connected to everyone is not only freeing, it’s humbling.
🦋 We will never feel content if we are not giving more than we try to take.
🦋 You don’t have to agree with everything. I love books, and I don’t want a tv. That’s just how it is.
🦋 The quicker we accept what is, the faster we can find a solution.
🦋 Being vulnerable is true strength.
🦋 I have, on average, about 20 summers/Christmases/ birthdays left. How will I spend them?
🦋 It’s not about the end result; it’s the joys and lessons during the journey to the end that will create the movie that is our life.
Hope this helps.
