Guess who may find a healthy relationship boring? Avoidants and anxious.
The anxious attached most likely acted up in childhood to get the attention they were lacking. They tend to throw tantrums and appear to be needy in grown up intimate relatsionships. Avoidants learned to people pleasing, but also how to self-sooth when they didn’t get the attention they wanted. It’s why they love bomb when they feel Ike they are losing you but pushes you away when they feel like they are getting too close. Here are some other possible explanations:
They are used to drama:
Some people may be used to relationships that are filled with drama, conflict, and excitement. When they enter into a healthy relationship where there is less drama, they may feel like something is missing.
They have a fear of intimacy:
For some individuals, being in a healthy relationship may trigger a fear of intimacy. This fear can cause them to push away their partner, sabotage the relationship, or find it difficult to connect on a deeper level.
They crave novelty and excitement:
Some people may find that they get bored easily and crave novelty and excitement. In a healthy relationship, there may be a sense of predictability and routine that can feel boring to someone who craves excitement.
They have unrealistic expectations:
If someone has unrealistic expectations of what a healthy relationship should be like, they may find it boring when it doesn’t live up to their expectations.
They have a fear of commitment:
For some people, being in a healthy relationship may trigger a fear of commitment. This fear can cause them to feel trapped or tied down, leading them to view the relationship as boring or dull. It’s important to note that while healthy relationships may not be as exciting as unhealthy ones, they can provide a sense of security, stability, and emotional fulfillment that is essential for long-term happiness and well-being.
Those who provide a healthy union are those who are more securely attached. And attachment styles can change with effort and awareness.
